I had not had an easy pregnancy. Morning sickness for 17 weeks, pelvic pain and bleeding throughout had made it traumatic. This was followed by a 60-hour labour. But as I lay exhausted in the Queen Charlotte’s Hospital in London, with Edward safely in my arms, it had all been worth it.
Edward will always be the most perfect and amazing gift; the brightest light to ever shine in our lives. We felt a pure love for him greater than either of us could have ever have thought possible and our desire to protect and cherish him was instant.
Tragically, three months later on 16 April 2014, Edward left us, a victim of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). It was the most devastating loss imaginable.
We were broken.
We were left with no explanation as to why our beautiful baby son had died. There is no attributable cause, no finger to point, no blame to apportion. We felt helpless. We also felt that we’d failed him in some way, no matter how unfair or untrue that is.
We searched for answers. We needed to understand how a tragedy like this could happen, and why a young and seemingly fit and strong baby could be taken away like this. All of these unanswered questions have made the grieving process so much harder to bear.
When we said goodbye to Edward in the hospital we vowed we would live our lives for him, just as we would if he was still with us. We wanted to make him proud of his family and to know how much he was loved and adored.
We founded Teddy’s Wish to provide our broken lives with a purpose. We want to raise money so that other grieving families can receive the same support we have received. But more than that, we want to fund research so that at some point in the future, there will be no more grieving parents of tiny, perfect babies.