Baby Hari Vijay- 18/12/2025-21/1/2026

Written by Hari's mummy, Fern

We found out we were having a baby in August 2025 and both myself and Vijay couldn’t be happier - we flew straight into parenting mode and started planning our future. Vijay was convinced from the start that we’d have a boy, and he was right. So we started calling bump Hari (spelt the Hindu way but felt Welsh too so it was perfect).

After an uneventful pregnancy, I went into maternity triage at 23+5 weeks, I was blue lighted to St Peter’s Hospital as my cervix had shortened from 31mm to 18mm and on arrival to St Peter’s, I was 2cm dilated. I’d been discharged less than two weeks earlier with a 5% chance of going into early labour (I’d had the LLETZ procedure in 2020 due to abnormal cells) but it turned out I was part of that 5%.With the help of the midwifery team, we delayed giving birth until 24+1 weeks, meaning Hari got the steroids and magnesium he needed. Hari came into this world on the 18/12/25 at 18:06.  His due date was 08/04/26, but instead we had a Christmas baby.

Hari was just 600g born, but came out breathing on his own and even let out a little cry (which I later found a video of thanks to my friend Rosie - she’s a midwife and was with me throughout, along with Vijay and my mum). Hari managed his own ventilation for just under 24 hours, then needed intubation and ventilation to take over his breathing and let him rest, which I expected to happen immediately from birth. After being intubated, X-rays unfortunately showed free air below his diaphragm, meaning he would likely need surgery. He also had two small bleeds - common in babies of his gestation and could resolve.

Hari was blue lighted from St Peter’s on the 19th to St George’s for surgery. Throughout all of this, I was in isolation due to being Flu+, I had a sore throat but was otherwise well. Going through preterm labour and then isolation was the most traumatic experience. Vijay was able to see Hari, so we used FaceTime while he visited the NICU, and I was able to see him for the first time since giving birth, just before his transfer, while wearing an FFP3 mask. I was discharged when Hari got transferred and I made my own way to George’s while Vijay stayed with Hari. 

On the day of Hari’s surgery, I was readmitted due to increased bleeding and passing a clot. I think lack of sleep for five days, Hari being so unwell, and just general trauma/anxiety made me present very poorly. I couldn’t stop shaking and crying, but I felt better after sleep and another 24 hours of antibiotics. (It turned out that I had retained products and ended up having surgery in January for this, queue another round of antibiotics and blood thinners).

Hari’s surgery went well, but they found that he had NEC, 2cm of bowel was removed during surgery, and at less than two days old, he had a stoma formed. His lungs were also very underdeveloped because of his gestation, despite the steroids received before birth. On top of this, his bleeds had progressed, one grade 2 and one grade 4 due to the strain of surgery. I was able to visit Hari wearing a mask after his surgery. I got to meet the doctors and nurses caring for him while I wasn’t able to be there. Each and every one of them was amazing and I can’t thank them enough.

Having a medical background, Vijay really became part of Hari’s NICU team, he knew everything that was going on and basically gave me a full handover after each visit, from blood gases to ventilator settings and all infusions Hari needed. It felt like I was present too. He had this fatherly instinct a few times that he needed to be with Hari, and it was always when something was happening or there was any deterioration, he kicked into true dad mode and looked after me too.

The day I was allowed out of isolation, I sat in NICU at 3am and stayed until morning handover. I didn’t see the point in being in my room on my own when I could be next to Hari after days of being apart. My friends and family visited from Wales, just what I needed after going through the most traumatic experience. My sister was even over from Nashville for Christmas so was able to meet Hari - she was 22 weeks pregnant at this point so a difficult moment for a multitude of reasons. 

During all of this, my milk came in thick and fast on the day Hari was born. Rosie helped syringe colostrum and the next day taught me how to use the breast pump. Because of Hari’s surgery, they couldn’t feed him for at least a week, but meanwhile, my milk drawer was filling up fast. I ended up expressing about a litre a day. Once out of isolation, I’d pump next to his incubator. I bought a hands-free pump, which was brilliant, I even fell asleep wearing them in the car. Early on, I spoke to the infant feeding team about milk donation. Vijay’s cousin died two years ago due to a PPH, so I had her daughter at the forefront of my mind and mums who struggled with their milk production,I just wanted to help where I could and not feel so useless. 

We cherished every moment that we were given with Hari, we drove to Guildford and got him registered on Christmas Eve so he could finally have the Vijay surname instead of being an Osborne like me. Seeing Hari Osborne for the first few days just didn’t feel right. That night we got out of the hospital for a date night, something we were long overdue and just allowed us to reset.

We had the best Christmas Day sat next to Hari, reading stories and opening his stocking. Christmas night I got to hold Hari for the first time, a feeling I can’t really put into words. I was just so content after a week of no sleep and constant anxiety. Getting to hold my baby and Vijays hand at the same time I’d get this rush of emotions, this is my family. We made this, we created life and Hari gets to hear every day how much we love each other and how much we love him. Vijay held Hari in his hands after my skin to skin before putting him into his incubator and I managed to get a photo of this moment - my favourite photo of Daddy and Hari. 

On the 27th, we were told there may be another perforation, but surgeons were unsure so we would just observe overnight. Looking back at photos now, it was clear to see the discolouration of Hari’s abdomen but at the time I think I just stared at his little face hoping and praying for a healthy future with him. We expressed our wishes for Hari and decided if another surgery was needed, that we wouldn’t put him through any more suffering.

By the morning, it was confirmed. Hari had another bowel perforation, likely NEC returned. Myself and Vijay had always said comfort would always be a priority and with all of the risks of a second surgery and his co-morbidities, we decided comfort care would be best - the hardest decision to make because this meant saying goodbye to our baby.

On the 29th of December, we removed Hari’s breathing tube while he got to cuddle daddy and then took his final breaths on my chest while we read him “the story of us” - a story I started writing early on into this journey, of how me and Vijay met, the years of long distance and then how Hari came to be.

The most peaceful goodbye, just the three of us. Our little family. Nothing could have prepared us for the two weeks we’d endured. The pain, the trauma but also the joy, all mixed into one. Hari made us parents, but we’ve learnt that life can be cruel. We were gifted 11 days with our baby, Hari knew our voices, he knew love and he knew peace.

We said our final goodbyes on the 21st January, surrounded by our immediate family and Hari’s godparents. We’re in the process of buying a new home, which would have been Hari’s first home, so have decided once we’ve moved in, we’ll hold a celebration of life there, with friends and family from both our sides so everyone finally gets to meet and celebrate Hari with us.